What's The Point?
by MichaelCotedeWeatherly
Summary: Tony's not acting like himself, and nobody knows why. Will they save him before they're too late? Rating: T for dark thoughts and happenings. WARNINGS: Dealing with self-harm and suicide. Marjorly OOC
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hiya everybody! Nice to see you all again! I love it that Tony's Girl got an awesome response! I will be doing a spin off series of that, but this idea has been in my head all day, so I **_**HAVE**_** to post it! Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy! Completely OOC. Not sure about the title though.**

**Summary: Tony's not acting like himself, and nobody knows why. Will they save him before they're too late?**

**Rating: T for dark thoughts and happenings.**

**WARNINGS: Dealing with self-harm, contemplating of suicide.**

**Pairings: Tony/Gibbs non-slash. Hurt!Comfort Tony. PapaBear Gibbs.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story apart from creative licence. All though, I would not object if anybody wants to hand NCIS over to me! :) All hail DPB.**

**What's The Point?**

Tony closed the door to his apartment and sighed sadly. He dumped his stuff at the door, and walked straight to the kitchen. Today was horrible. It was the anniversary of his mother's death.

**0700 hours**

Tony was already at work when McGee and Ziva walked in at 0700, staring blankly at his computer screen. McGee and Ziva frowned at each other before greeting their friend, only getting a nod in reply. Tony had started showing up early for work about a month ago, and had stopped being his usual, cheery self. He had become distant from the team. He now didn't let anyone but Abby touch him, no matter what the reason. He hadn't down that since he had started at NCIS…over 10years ago. Not like Gibbs seemed to notice though.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked, coming down from the director's office. Tony stood up and stood in front of his Boss' desk.

"Yes, Boss?" he asked, voice dull. Gibbs stared at him. Tony continued to stare at the floor. Gibbs shoved Tony's report in his chest.

"Do your case report again. It's rubbish." Gibbs said demanded. Tony nodded.

"Yes, sir." Tony turned back to his desk.

After about an hour, the elevator dinged, announcing the arrival of someone. Abby walked quickly into the bullpen, and Tony got up when he noticed she wanted to hug him. He rarely hugs her back, but today, he hugged her with equal force. When they pulled apart, they leaned their foreheads together, which caused the rest of the team to turn and look at them.

"You gonna be okay?" Abby asked quietly. Abby was the only one that new that it was his mother's death anniversary today. He had accidently let it slip last year when he got drunk and ended up on her doorstep.

"I'll be fine, Abs." he said sadly, not looking into her eyes, knowing if he did, he would break down crying like a girl. No, he would do that later, in the safety of his apartment. Abby hugged him again.

"Call me if you need anything." She told him. Tony nodded, reluctantly turning back to his desk to finish the last of his 'new' report. Abby kissed his head, and went back down to her lab. Gibbs started at his SFA, confused. He walked up to his agent's desk, staring intently at him, before head-slapping him. Hard.

"Back to work, DiNozzo." He said, even though Tony had continued his report before Abby had even reached the elevator.

The rest of the morning went relatively quiet. There were no new cases and Team Gibbs was thoroughly enjoying the quiet day. When the clock hit 1300, Gibbs told his team to go for lunch, but be back for 1400. Then Gibbs left. Ziva and McGee were collecting their stuff, discussing on where to go to eat.

"Are you joining us, Tony?" Ziva asked, seeing her partner still sitting at his desk, typing something. Tony shook his head.

"No thanks. I'm going to go with Abby. Thanks though." He replied, before quickly leaving to go down the lab. Ziva shook her head and frowned.

"Something is on with Tony, yes?" she said to McGee as they walked to the elevator.

"Off. Something is _off _with Tony. And yeah, something is definitely off with him."

**In the lab**

"Tony!" Abby squealed when she saw him slowly enter her 'Labby'. She ran up and gave him a tight hug. She heard him take a few shuddery breaths before composing himself.

"Hey Abs." he whispered. Abby pulled away from him, but kept her hands on his shoulders, looking at him intently.

"Are you _sure_ you're okay, Tony-boy?" she asked. Tony gave her a failed attempt of a smile.

"Sure Abs." he said. "Just tired. Mind if I crash out here for a while?" Abby knew this was a big fat lie. Not the part where he was tired. He looked like he could sleep for a year. Just the part about him being okay. He had IM'd her – without Gibbs knowing – about Gibbs making him feel worse than he already was. Usually Gibbs had a good reason for head0slapping and yelling at him, but Abby knew that today, Gibbs had no damn reason at all.

"Sure, but you have to eat this apple first." She promised, placing a red apple in his hand. Tony looked at her as if she had grown two heads, but took a big bit out of the apple anyway. In about 5minutes, and warning her to wake him at 1355, he was situated on Abby's futon with an old throw around him, and was asleep as soon as his head hit Bert.

**1405**

Gibbs was fuming. He thought he had made it quite clear to his team to be back for 1400. It was now 1405, and DiNozzo still wasn't back yet.

"Where the hell is DiNozzo?" he yelled at McGee and Ziver. Ziva looked at him.

"He said he was having lunch with Abby before we left." She stated simply. Gibbs growled and stomped of towards the lab.

He came to a stop just outside the lab-techs door. It was closed, and had a sign stuck on it saying _Be Quiet When You Enter…Or Else._ He walked in, spotting Abby at her computer; listen to her music with her headphones. He yanked the buds out of her ears, watching as she turned around, with a look of disapproval on her face.

"Where the hell is DiNozzo?" he growled angrily at her.

"Shhh, Gibbs." She pointed to Tony on the futon, sleeping soundly, with the look of innocence on his features. "He told me to wake him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. This looks like the first proper sleep he's had in weeks." She said, sounding like she was talking to a puppy. Gibbs growled at her, not saying anything. He stalked over to his sleeping agent, and yanked the throw off him and used his best Gunny voice.

"GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP!" he yelled. This shocked Tony so much from his slumber that he jumped, falling off the futon onto the steel floor, landing on his hand and causing it to make a funny cracking noise. Abby rushed over to him.

"Oh, my poor baby! Are you okay?" she asked worriedly. Tony looked around, confused about what hah just happened.

"Wha…what happened?" he asked. Suddenly, it all came back to him. He had asked Abby if he could crash out here during his lunch break. He stared at her. "I asked you to wake me before 2, Abby! Why didn't you wake me?" he whispered the last part, seeing and angry Gibbs standing over him. "Boss," he started, before a hand connect with the back of his head.

"Go to your desk. Now." He held up his hand when Tony started to defend himself. "No. You'll explain later when I want you to. Go." He growled.

"Yes sir." Tony said, quieter than a whisper, and went quickly. Gibbs turned and glared at Abby.

"It wasn't his fault, Gibbs. He told me to wake him, and I didn't. Don't blame him." Abby defended her best friend hotly, crossing her arms across her chest.

"He can sleep on his own time, Abby." With that, he walked out to have a little _chat_ with his agent.

That chat consisted of yelling on Gibbs part, and nods and shakes on Tony's part. The rest of the work day was filled with tension, head-slaps, yelling and more head-slaps. Tony was just happy to go home.

**Present time**

Tony entered the kitchen and went straight to the knife drawer. He pulled out his favourite knife, which had dried blood on it from previous 'experiences'. He pulled up his sleeve, gently tracing the criss-cross scars – old and new – that ran up and down his forearm. He pulled the knife blade across his olive skin, sighing at the feel if the stress leaving his body. Cutting himself had always been his coping mechanism since he was 10, when his father had started drinking and beating him senseless. Over the years, he had learned to either cut were no-one could see them, or make sure to cover the scars well with his clothes. He walked to the living room, and sank down on the old, battered couch, pulling the blade across his skin more and more, until his arm was covered in blood. He knew where to cut, and where to avoid cutting and veins. That might come later. He knew how deep to cut, depending on how much blood he wanted to see, how much stress he wanted to get rid of. He slowly fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, right there on the couch.

**A/N: What do you think? Should I carry on, or just leave this as a one shot? Let me know in the reviews.**

**Not in any way am I encouraging self-harm. I do not wish to offend anyone with this story. If you do struggle with self-harm, I am always here to listen and offer support and advice. **

**Feel free to contact ChildLine, they are always there to listen, and offer support and advice:**

**Telephone – 0800 1111**

**Website - . **

**Bye guys x**

**Chloe xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow! This story got a better response than I thought it would! But, thank you guys! This chapter consists of one of the team finding out. Hope you enjoy!**

**What's The Point?**

**Chapter 2**

Tony awoke to the sound of his alarm beeping in his bedroom, even though he was on his couch. He looked down, and saw his arm covered in dried blood, and the knife he had used was now lying on the light coloured rug, which now held a browny-red puddle.

"And I liked that rug to." Tony mumbled to himself as he walked in the kitchen. He placed the dirty knife back into the drawer without washing it, then proceeded to run his arm under the kitchen sink, wiping his arm with a cloth gently, getting rid of any remaining blood. He made his way to get dressed, his hands gently wandering up and down his arm, the newest scars throbbing.

**NCISNCISNCIS**

Tony walked into the bullpen just before 0700. McGee and Ziva took that as a good sign, happy to see they were in before Tony.

"Morning Tony." They both greeted, smiling at him. Tony, who was staring at the floor as he walked, looked up at them.

"Morning." He said, just loud enough for them to hear him. He slumped down at his desk, turning on his computer and slowly checking his e-mails.

He was half way through when Gibbs sat his own desk. Tony nodded good morning to his boss as he passed. Soon after that, Abby came rushing up into the squad room, wanting to see her favourite 'Tony-bear'.

"Tony Tony Tony Tony!" she said quickly as she pulled him out of his seat for a hug.

"Can't…breathe…Abs!" he gasped out. Abby released him, smiling sheepishly.

"Sorry!" Tony gave her a small smile. He was about to sit back down when Abby grabbed at his wrist.

"Is that _blood_?" she questioned worriedly, seeing a small, but noticeable, blood stain on his light blue shirt. This short question caused Gibbs to look at his agent. Tony laughed nervously.

"Err…yeah. Neighbour's cat thought I looked tasty this morning. It's nothing to worry 'bout Abs." he reassured, getting worried she would ask to see the 'bite'. But thankfully, she smiled at him happily.

"Okay!" she let go of his wrist and went to give Gibbs a hug before going back to the basement, but stopped when she saw Gibbs stand up, and slowly made his way to his SFA, like a predator stalking his prey, waiting for the right time to pounce. Tony felt Gibbs' stare on him. He warily looked up.

"Yeah boss?" he said, just above a whisper. Gibbs continued to stare at him before growling at him,

"Type up your report. You need to learn how to write. You write like a 3rd Grader." Tony nodded, before standing up and muttering something about going to the head. Abby marched up to Gibbs and poked his chest hard.

"Play nice and stop making him feel more shit than he already does! Are you really such a bastard that you can't see how much he's hurting?" with that, she stormed off back downstairs, leaving a gaping Gibbs in her wake. Gibbs thought for a moment, processing what Abby had said, and went to find his agent.

**NCISNCISNCIS**

Tony went into the mens bathroom, thankful to find it empty. He went into one of the stalls, forgetting to lock the door. He slid down one of the cramped stall walls, taking a small razor blade from his pants pocket. He had tried not to do his cutting at work, but as the years went on, he found harder and harder to do, and now, with Gibbs pissed off with him _again_; he had to use his pain reliever. He sighed as he pulled the blade across his skin once, twice, three times. He couldn't help but smile when he saw the blood. Suddenly, his stall door swung open, causing Tony razor blade to fall to the floor with a small _clunk _noise.

"Gibbs." He whispered. Gibbs stared at Tony's wrist, watching the blood drip on the floor and was about to say something, when he found himself on the floor. Tony had pushed him out the way, and ran out the bathroom, but not before grabbing his pain relief.

**A/N: What do you think? Not my best work, and this chapter is quite short, but I thought this was the best way to end it, personally. This probably won't be a long story, maybe a few more chapters, but who knows :) Criticism is welcome, as long as it is constructive. Hope you enjoyed it :) **

**Next chapter should be up soon, but definitely not tomorrow and probably not the day after that either. I'm getting my second HPV injection at school tomorrow, and I can never move my arm afterwards, so I won't start writing this story until at least Friday. **_**I hate injections!:(**_

**See ya later!**

**Chloe xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Glad you like the story! Thanks for the reviews! Congratulations to Michael and Bojana for the birth of little Liam! He's got a good family 3 DARK THOUGHTS! Enjoy this chapter!**

**What's The Point?**

**Chapter 3**

As soon as Tony saw Gibbs standing in front of him, he ran. He ran to his car and didn't bother with the seat-belt as he got the hell out of there.

As he drove aimlessly around town for a while, he stared at his wrist, now bleeding sluggishly. Cutting wasn't enough anymore. His boss – the man who he thought of as a father – now knew his dark secret. He wouldn't want him on his team, in his life anymore. Tony did a U-turn, and speed back to his apartment.

**NCISNCISNCIS**

Gibbs stared at the small drops of blood on the floor in front of him, thinking about what he had just seen. _Tony – his __son__ – was hurting himself!_ How had he missed it? How could he not see his boy in pain? Suffering in silence? Was it his fault? All of these unanswerable questions span around in Gibbs' head. When had it gotten so bad? Was he not approachable to talk to when you need advice, or help? Suddenly, he thought of something. Abby! She seems to know more than she lets on. He Gibbs got himself of the bathroom floor and ran down the lab.

"ABBY!" he yelled as he rushed through the door. Abby whipped round, pigtails flying.

"Jeez Louise, Gibbs. Take a chill pill." Gibbs stared at her.

"Tony. Talk." He demanded. Abby looked scared, and worried.

"I wish I could help, Gibbs. I really do. But all I know that he's been upset about something and not acting like himself. His mother's death anniversary was the other, and that just added to his stress." She looked teary-eyed. "I wish I could help more." She whispered. Gibbs nodded and kissed her cheek.

"Thanks Abs." he then went to his car, and speed his way to Tony's apartment.

**NCISNCISNCIS**

Meanwhile, in his apartment, Tony was sitting on the couch, holding his gun, staring at the barrel.

**A/N: I know, I know. It's short, but it's better than nothing right? I wasn't going to post today, but my arm feels better than it did last time, so I thought I'd be nice :) Plus, this seemed like a good place to stop. A good cliff-hanger for you all :) What will happen to Tony? Will Gibbs get there in time? All will be revealed next time, on…What's the Point? :)**

**Well, I gotta love ya and leave ya! Bye!**

**Chloe xxx **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: It's been a long wait, I know. And it's a short chapter, I know :( but my computer crashed before I had saved this chapter, so I had to type it up again. Grrr! I am handwriting all of these first now! Some of you were wondering how Gibbs could be such a bastard in the first 2 chapters, and suddenly turn all caring in chapter 3. Ok, so, we all know Gibbs can be a right bastard on the outside, but inside, he is a huge softie, and PapaBear. So, when one of his cubs is hurt, it is his job to help them recover. This is how I see him anyway. Hope this helps! Enjoy! :)**

**What's The Point?**

**Chapter 4**

Tony had now moved his gun to the side of his head, pressing hard enough against his skull to leave a bruise. He had his finger resting on the trigger. He was about to press and release, when his apartment door burst open, making him jump. He opened his closed eyes to see Gibbs standing in the doorway of the room, entering slowly, like he would to a suspect.

"Tony," he said softly. "Put the gun down. Let's talk about whatever's going through your mind right now." He pleaded. Tony shook his head silently in the negative, but removed his finger from the trigger.

"Come on, Tony." Gibbs said gently, seeing he was getting through to his friend – hell, his _son_. "You know you don't want to do this." Tony shook his head again, but Gibbs wasn't sure if it was because he didn't agree with him, or if he did. Tears spilled down Tony's cheeks.

"I…I can't do it anymore, B-boss." Tony whispered, gun still pressed to his head. Gibbs felt his heart break. He held out his hand.

"You don't have to do it alone anymore, son. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." Gibbs promised. "Just give me the gun, Tony. Please." Tony didn't do anything for a few moments, but then, he slowly placed the gun in Gibbs' outstretched palm, with a shaky hand. Gibbs quickly placed the gun out of Tony's reach, before pulling the now sobbing man into his arms and held him tight.

"It's gonna be okay Tony. I promise." He comforted quietly. "We _will_ get through this. _Together_." Tony just clung to Gibbs' shirt, taking fistfuls, burying his face in Gibbs' chest. Gibbs ran his hands through the younger man's hair.

"It's – too - _*gasp* _- hard – Gibbs!" Tony cried in-between sobs.

"It's okay Tony. I'm here to help you now." Gibbs promised softly. "I have your six, and I always will. No matter what." Gibbs felt Tony nod as he buried himself deeper in his chest. Gibbs wrapped his arms protectively – and tightly – around Tony. And this was how they stayed all night, long after Tony cried himself to sleep, and Gibbs stayed awake, thinking about how to help his boy.

**A/N: What do ya think? I know it's not long, but this was all I could really think off :/ Review and let me know what you want to happen.**

**Bye!**

**Chloe xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: LONGER CHAPTER! I used my English lesson in school today to write part of this, and then I wrote a lot more at home! Hope you like! **

**P.S: This is a really fluffy chapter. And for the sake of the story, Tony is 35.**

**What's The Point?**

**Chapter 5**

Tony was embarrassed. No, scratch that. He was _mortified_. He nearly shot himself in front of Gibbs and then _cried_ in front of him! In front of the man he looked up to! This was why he was now silently playing with a bowl of cereal, not actually eating anything. And this sorta scared Gibbs. He knew how embarrassed Tony probably was. He was one of the very few people that knew how self-conscious Tony was, despite how confident he made everyone think he was. Tony and Gibbs both knew that they would have to talk about last, even though neither of them really wanted to.

"Tony," Gibbs started. "About last night…" he was cut off when Tony interrupted him.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm fucked in the head, and belong in the loony bin." **(A/N: I don't mean for this to be offensive, it's just that I have seen this 'term' being used in other FanFics.) **Gibbs moved over to stand in front of Tony, and put his hands on the younger man's shoulders, and said sternly,

"You are _not_ fucked up! I promise you that. I can also promise you, that you don't belong in the 'loony bin'." Tony looked at him sceptically.

"Sure, if it helps you sleep at night." Tony replied. Gibbs probably burst out laughing at that statement, if he didn't feel like crying. Tony actually believed he belonged in a psych **(A/N: Not sure if that's right?) **ward.

"Tony," Gibbs tried again. "You. Don't. Belong. There. You belong _here_." He stated softly, but firmly. "Ok?" Tony looked away, and nodded slowly. Gibbs led him into the living room and placed him on the couch, and then crouching in front of him.

"Why, Tony?" he asked quietly. "Why would you feel that shooting yourself was the only answer, instead of coming to me?" Tony looked at him sadly for a moment, and then looked away, turning his glance back to the floor. When he didn't answer, Gibbs asked,

"Did I do something, Tony?"

Tony took a shaky breath, before saying,

"I-I dunno…last month my father called…" Gibbs placed a comforting hand on Tony's knee.

"What did he say Tony?" he asked after a moment, when Tony didn't continue. Tony took a deep breath again.

"He started by saying my…my, err, my uncle Patrick passed away." Gibbs frowned.

"You didn't request any personal days." Gibbs wondered aloud. "Funeral had been and gone a week before." Tony quickly explained quickly, before carrying on. "After that, he asked how work was. Which I thought was strange, since he has never asked about work before. So I told him about getting the plague a few years ago, and about Commander Voss, and what, um, happened to, err, Kate." He said sadly, with a haunted look in his eyes, before continuing. "Also about Ziva, saving her from Somalia and Saleem, and of course the most recent event, (A/N: Made up) Lieutenant Williamson deciding I looked like a good…_subject_…to test his killing skills on." He said grimly, but still quietly. Gibbs started rubbing his hand lightly in circles on Tony's knee.

"What did your father say, Tony?" he asked, noticing he was swallowing hard, had a little pool of tears in his eyes, and was avoiding looking at him.

"He, um, said that, um, all the stuff that happened, I deserved. Said it all happened because I shouldn't have become a cop." He swallowed again before continuing. "And, he had the nerve to insult _Kate_! Said she died 'cause she knew me!" he shouted angrily. Gibbs wanted to kill DiNozzo Senior. Gibbs was about to say something, when Tony continued in a soft voice.

"I hung up on him, after he insulted Kate's memory, and ever since then, he's called every day, insulting Kate, you, the team, NCIS, cops…me." He whispered. "Then," he continued louder, "My mom's death anniversary was the other day. You told me I had to re-do my report for a second time, I dunno, I guess…I guess I just snapped." He sounded ashamed. "You seemed to really hate me that day, Boss…why?" Tony asked, almost shyly. Gibbs sighed.

"I noticed something was affecting you, so had Ziva, McGee, Abby and Ducky. Even Jimmy had also noticed. They were bugging me about it. So I was trying to pry it out of you by being a bastard." Gibbs admitted. "Guess that backfired." He watched as Tony turned a shade of red, and looked away from Gibbs.

"Tony?" Gibbs asked. Tony turned to look at him slowly.

"Yeah?" he whispered.

"How long have you been…self-harming?" he asked gently. Tony looked down, and mumbled something, but Gibbs couldn't catch it.

"What was that Tony?" Tony glanced up at him.

"Since I was twelve." He whispered. To say that Gibbs was shocked would be an understatement.

'_Twelve…that's…twenty three years! Holy…'_ Gibbs thought to himself.

"Oh, Tony…" he said, moving to sit next to Tony on the sofa, pulling him into his side. Tony leaned into the embrace. "May I ask why?" he asked softly. Tony shrugged.

"Some people have alcohol. You have your boat. I have a blade. Way of coping, I guess." Tony replied sadly, leaning his head on Gibbs' shoulder. "When you saw me cutting in the bathroom, I couldn't deal with it." Gibbs was confused.

"Deal with what, son?" Tony turned his head to look at him.

"You knowing my secret." When Tony saw the confusion in his mentor's eyes, he explained. "The all mighty, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, knowing his Senior Agent cutting himself. Has been for the last twenty years. I do it, but not just to cope, Gibbs." he said. "Also for the control. The only thing I can control is my body; no-one else has control over it, and I can do what I want with it. All through boarding school, I had my blade, for control, because at boarding school, they tell you when to eat, when to have fun, and when to sleep. The only thing they couldn't do was tell me what to do with my body." Gibbs nodded slowly, understanding what he had been told. "So when you saw me, I figured you would make me get help, shove me in rehab or something. I would have lost all of my control. I can't do that." He ended in a whisper, turning his head into Gibbs' shoulder, taking shaky breaths. Gibbs could feel wetness on his neck. He wrapped his arms tightly around Tony.

"I know that you need control Tony, but you understand that I can't let you keep cutting yourself." He said gently. Tony nodded against him. "Good." He soothed, caressing Tony's hair. "We will find you another way to have control. I promise. You are the strongest man I know, so you will get through this." He kissed the top of Tony's head.

**A/N: What do you think? I am quite impressed with chapter if I do say so myself! Let me know your thoughts!**

**Byeee**

**Chloe xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Ok, you could probably skip this author's note; it will mostly be a rant. **

**Some of you are saying this is unrealistic, not only for the show, but for real life. In the first chapter's author's note, I stated the story was OOC, and in the story description. As for real life, it is very realistic, I know from personal experience. **

**Gibbs. A lot of you have been confused about Gibbs' quick turn of personality. When I wrote it, I didn't really think it was such a drastic change, I kinda thought of it of it as sort-of normal. Someone commented that Gibbs has been abusing Tony because of headslaps, and that he will carry on abusing him after this time in their lives has passed. If you actually watch the show, you will see that Gibbs hands out headslaps only when need be, and it is also a sign of affection.**

**A few people commented about my authors note that I always put at the end of the chapters. I will always post authors notes at the end of my chapters, asking what you awesome people think, but, just to make it clear, you do not have to read the authors notes if you do not want to.**

**I also will not be editing the shorter chapters; I'm just going to leave them because I have posted more.**

**I have also noticed that only a few people actually like the story, because I'm getting more negative, un-helpful reviews than nice, helpful ones. Yes, constructive criticism is welcome. But I'm not getting any of that, I'm just getting criticism. So, because of that, I might not continue this story.**

**Rant over! Sorry about that, but I just had to explain some stuff. I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

**What's The Point?**

**Chapter 6**

Gibbs and Tony were now talking about ways for Tony to feel his has control.

"Tony, before we start, you have to promise me something." Gibbs said. Tony nodded slowly.

"What?" he asked.

"Whenever you feel you want to cut, you have to tell me, okay?" Gibbs pleaded softly. Tony nodded again.

"Okay." He whispered softly. "But what if we're in the office?" he questioned shyly. Gibbs thought for a moment before saying,

"If you don't want to say it directly, use a code word."

"Like what?"

"Taxi." Gibbs said after a moment. Tony gave him a small smile.

"Okay." Gibbs smiled at him. "Do we, uh, have to tell the team?" Tony asked worriedly. Gibbs placed his calloused hand on Tony's.

"Not if you don't want to." He promised. Tony let out a relived breath.

"But," Tony said. "You want me to talk to someone, like a therapist." Tony said, more of a statement than a question.

"I would like you to, but if you don't want to, at least talk to me." Gibbs compromised. Tony thought about this for a long moment.

"You…and maybe Rachael." He said finally. Gibbs smiled and nodded slightly.

"Okay Tony, whatever you want." He said supportively. Tony nodded, and looked down nervously at his hands, waiting for Gibbs to start the original conversation at hand.

"Okay," Gibbs started, sensing to Tony was waiting for this conversation to end. "What type of way do you want to have control?" he asked. Tony shrugged.

"I dunno." If Tony was perfectly honest, he was quite happy with the way he currently keeps control.

"I want you to live with me for a while; I just don't think you should have to be alone right now. If you want to." Gibbs requested. Tony nodded, without hesitation.

"I…I don't want to be alone." Tony whispered, still looking at his hands.

"Okay." Gibbs nodded. An idea popped into his head. "How about we decorate the guest room to whatever you want? As long as the bed stays." Gibbs asked. "That way, you can change or add whatever you want to the room when you feel the need for control." He finished. Tony looked at him as if he was crazy.

"Boss," he started. "That's crazy! It's your guest room!" Tony exclaimed. Gibbs smiled gently, and softly stated,

"It's_ your_ room now Tony."

"Are you sure?" Tony whispered vulnerability and insecurity clearly evident in his voice.

_Had the kid never had his own room before?_ Gibbs thought.

"Yeah, Tony. I'm sure." He assured his friend. Tony still looked uncertain. "Have I ever lied to you Tony?" Gibbs asked. Tony shook his head.

"Never boss."

"And I'm not going to start now." Gibbs stated, and smiled at Tony. Tony still looked uncertain, but nodded slowly, giving Gibbs a small smile.

"Thanks, Gibbs." Gibbs placed a hand on Tony's shoulder, and squeezed gently.

"My pleasure, son."

**NCISNCISNCIS**

_A week later_

Everyone was at the office. The rest of the team were happy to see Tony slowly turning back to his normal self again. Gibbs had kept his word, and had not told anyone about Tony's secret, even after he had been bombarded with questions about why Tony had disappeared suddenly last week. He had told them to mind their own business and walked away. Tony had now redecorated the guest-room to a black-and-white theme, and Gibbs had carved a name plate with the words _Tony's Room_ engraved in black, and had nailed it to the door as a surprise when Tony was out for a run. Tony was touched to say the very least.

The team were now writing up their reports on their latest case, which Ducky had ruled a suicide. Gibbs was worried about how Tony would react, but when he asked, Tony had told him he was fine.

"What do you think of the case, Tony?" Ziva asked suddenly.

"What do you mean, Zee-vah?" Tony looked up from his report. Ziva stopped typing.

"I mean, what do you think about suicide?" Gibbs looked up at that question and saw Tony freeze up a little.

"I dunno." Tony lied. "I guess I never really thought about it. What about you." He asked.

"I think it is stupid and selfish." Ziva stated, sounding disgusted.

"Why would you think that?" Tony asked, grinding his teeth together.

"It is for cowards. In my country, when bombs are going off every day, killing hundreds, you know you are lucky to be alive when others are not, so you cannot take life for granted. But then you come over to America, where spoilt children go and shoot themselves because they didn't get the doll they wanted." Ziva replied as if it was a fact.

"And what about adults?" Tony wanted to know. Ziva snorted in disgust.

"And it is especially selfish when adults kill themselves, just because their partner dumped them." Ziva said hotly, using their dead Marine's reason – well, what the guys in his unit thought. Tony stood up suddenly, slapping his hands on the desk.

"DiNozzo." Gibbs warned, but Tony ignored him, striding over to Ziva's desk to stand in front of her.

"Commander Jensen was a damn good Marine and you know it. He had his reasons, and so does everyone else that kills themselves, or tries too. And, did you know, teens are more likely to commit suicide then adults because of bullying or abuse?" Tony raged. "Not everyone was trained as an emotionless freak! Most of people can only deal with so much!" He yelled at a speechless Ziva. Gibbs marched over to Tony.

"Stand down, DiNozzo!" he ordered. Tony turned to face him, red in the face.

"Going to the head." Tony rasped out, before rushing to the mens bathroom.

"Gibbs, I –" Ziva started, but Gibbs cut her off by holding up his hand.

"No, Ziva. He had every right to act that way, even though he probably shouldn't have."

"Gibbs, I do not understand why h acted like that." Ziva was genuinely confused by Tony outburst. Gibbs sighed.

"What you said, Ziva, it was very insensitive. Yes, maybe in Israel, thing are different, but saying people only kill themselves because they didn't get what they what, people will find that very offensive." Gibbs explained. "People use suicide as a last resort, when they feel they can't handle life anymore." Gibbs finished, letting Ziva speak.

"I…I did not think of it like that." She said softly. Gibbs just grunted. He felt his cell vibrate in his pocket, letting him know he had received a text. He opened the message, revealing one word.

"_Taxi_."

**A/N: Ta-da! Quite a long chapter, so I hope you like it! :) Let me know if you think I should continue or not, and if you liked the chapter? :)**

**See ya next time!**

**Chloe xxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY COTE! Hello again guys and gals :) How are you all? This chapter contains so big revelations and is very emotional :) Hope you enjoy it; it is one of my better chapters, I think :)**

**What's The Point?**

**Chapter 7**

'_Taxi._' When Gibbs saw that displayed on the tiny cell screen, he internally panicked. He rushed to the mens bathroom, quickly locking the door behind him. When he turned, he saw Tony sitting slumped against the wall on the floor, with a small razor blade hovering about his scar-covered wrist.

"Tony," he said, announcing himself, walking slowly towards the Italian. "Can you give me the blade?" he asked gently. Tony looked up; only noticing the Marine was there.

"Gibbs?" he whispered.

"Yeah, Tony. It's me." Gibbs confirmed softly, holding out his hand. "Give me the blade." He ordered softly. Tony looked at the blade, before letting out a scream and chucking the offending object across the room. He cradled his head in his hands, swearing at himself. Gibbs quickly made his way to Tony and sat next to him, ignoring the protests of his knee. He placed an arm around Tony's shoulders.

"It's okay, Tony. It's okay." He quietly comforted.

"Why, Gibbs?" Tony whispered. He hesitated, and then laid his head on the older man's shoulder. "Why am I so fucked up?"

"You're _**not**_ fucked up. You're just having a having time right now." Gibbs told him. Tony sighed. After a moment of silence, Tony spoke up again.

"I'm sorry, Boss."

"For what?" Gibbs asked.

"For what happened in the squad room."

"Ziva deserved what she got Tony." Gibbs replied.

"I called her an emotionless freak." Tony sounded disgusted with himself.

"She knows you didn't mean it."

"I still need to apologize." Tony stated. He knew that he had to get up, but that meant he had to leave the safety and comfort he felt of Gibbs holding him. He allowed himself a few more seconds of comfort, before standing up and offering his hand out to Gibbs. The two men made their way to the bull ben together, Tony stopping to stare at the forgotten blade. Gibbs picked it up and threw it in the trash. Gibbs moved his hand up to Tony's shoulder and squeezed slightly.

"Stupid blade." Tony mutter to himself as they made their way to the bull pen, where they had left two very confused agents. Tony stopped in front of Ziva's desk, while Gibbs continued to his own.

"I'm sorry, Ziva." Ziva could hear the sincerity in his voice.

"It is quite alright Tony." She told him. Tony shook his head.

"No it's not, Ziva. I yelled at you and called you an emotionless freak for no reason. I had no right to do that. I know you are not emotionless and you are not a freak. I hope you will forgive me."

"You have every right to yell at me. I am the one who should be sorry, Tony. I did not think of suicide from your point of view. I thought you had to be selfish to _**want**_ to die." Tony shook his head.

"Am I forgiven?" he asked pleadingly. Ziva smiled at him.

"You are forgiven, Tony." Tony grinned at her and went to finish his report. Once he had finished that, he got a packet of elastic bands and started pinging them at McGee.

"Tony!" the probie exclaimed. "Stop it!"

"Stop what, McCranky?" Tony said innocently. McGee opened his mouth to reply, when Gibbs cut him off.

"Go home, get some sleep. I don't want to see you until 0800 on Monday." He ordered, heading towards the elevator. "DiNozzo! You coming?" Tony rushed after him.

"On your six, Boss!" Tony slipped into the elevator just before the door closed. McGee looked at Ziva.

"That was strange." He said. Ziva nodded.

"I agree. I wonder what happened in the bathroom?" she wondered aloud.

"I could pull up the security footage." McGee suggested. The Israeli got a look of disgust on her face.

"Security cameras…in the bathroom? Gross!" McGee just shrugged, pulling up the feed onto his computer. They saw Tony enter the bathroom, pacing for a few moments before pulling out his cell phone and typing something. He then proceeded to sliding down the bathroom wall, running a hand through his hair. Next, they saw him putting his cell in his pocket, but taking something else out, and then pulling down his sleeve, hovering the small object about his wrist.

"McGee, zoom in on the object his is holding." Ziva instructed. McGee zoomed in on the blade. He gasped.

"What is it McGee?" Ziva asked.

"A…a r-razor blade." He stuttered.

"Zoom in on his wrist." She ordered. The computer screen now showed an image of Tony's scar-covered wrist. Ziva placed her hand to her mouth.

"Oh, Tony…" she whispered.

"Oh my…" McGee muttered.

"Play the rest of the footage." Ziva told him. They watched as Tony and Gibbs conversed with open mouths. They were both speechless by the time the tape ended. They were concerned for their friend – their brother.

What could they do to help him?

**A/N: Ta-da! I will admit, this chapter looked longer on paper when I wrote it out before I typed it…oh well :) Hope you liked it; next chapter should be up soon :)**

**Chloe xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I know it has been a while since I have updated this, and I am sorry :( So this is a longish chapter :) Hope you like it :)**

**What's The Point?**

**Chapter 8**

Tony spent the weekend helping Gibbs with the boat, so he came into work on Monday feeling refreshed and happier. McGee and Ziva were already at their desks when Gibbs and Tony made an appearance at 0800.

"Morning Tony, Gibbs." they greeted. The two men nodded hello and Tony smiled at them as he powered up his computer.

"How was your weekend Tony?" Ziva questioned. Tony grinned at her.

"A hot brunette – Susan? Suzy? Something with an 'S' – made their way into my life." He lied. Ziva shook her head.

"How can you not remember her name?" she asked, buying the lie that came easily came to Tony's lips.

"Name are unimportant, Zee-vah." He grinned. He was going to say more when Gibbs cut in.

"DiNozzo." Tony turned to face him.

"Boss."

"Shut up." Gibbs told him lightly, stopping Tony from digging himself deeper. Tony grinned.

"Shutting up, Boss."

The morning went by slowly and quietly. It looked like nobody was in the mood to kill anyone today, thankfully. Tony was Gibbs desk, helping the older man fill in all the forms and reports that Team Leaders had to deal with. They were talking, joking and even _laughing _together, neither man noticing the concerned looks Ziva and McGee shoot Tony's way.

**NCISNCISNCIS**

At around 1100, Gibbs went down to see Abby, _Caff-Pow!_ in hand. McGee and Ziva saw that as their opening. They walked slowly over to Tony at Gibbs' desk.

"Can I help you?" Tony asked, without looking up.

"Show us your wrists." Ziva told him. Tony froze.

"Why?" he discreetly slid his hand in his pocket, and pressing the button for speed dial one on his cell.

"We just want to see your wrists." Ziva said, not noticing the hand movement. Tony shook his head.

"No." he told them, hoping Gibbs was on his way.

**NCISNCISNCIS**

_In Abby's lab_

He could hear the music before he even got out of the elevator. He walked into the lab, and went straight turn off the music.

"Hey! I was listening to that!" Abby said indignantly, as she twirled round.

"Not anymore." Gibbs told her. Abby's eyes lit up when she saw her visitor.

"Gibbs!" she said excitedly, running up and suffocating him in hug.

"Can't breathe, Abbs." He told her, prying her off him gently.

"Oh, sorry!" she saw the _Caff-Pow!_ in his hand. He passed it to her as his cell rang.

"Gibbs." he answered. There was no answer. He looked at the caller ID. "DiNozzo, what are–" he heard muffled voices on the other end of the line.

"_We just want to see your wrists."_ came Ziva's voice.

"_No."_ came Tony's.

"Shit!" Gibbs exclaimed, running to the stairs, not bothering to wait for the elevator. He continued to listen to the muffled conversation. McGee's voice came to his ears.

"_Come on Tony. We just want to see them."_

**NCISNCISNCIS**

_In the bullpen_

"Why?" Tony asked, getting nervous. _'Where was Gibbs?'_ Ziva made a grab for his arms, but Tony moved out of the way, standing up and backing away from them. "What's so important about my arms?"

"Come on Tony. Are you hiding something?" Ziva demanded to know. Tony shook his head, as his back hit the desk divider in a corner.

"No." he lied. He saw Gibbs rush into the squad room. _'Thank God.'_

**NCISNCISNCIS**

Gibbs got into the squad room to see Tony back into a corner. He ran to where is team were. He could see the relief spread across Tony's face when he saw him. Ziva made another grab for Tony's arm, and caught it, but didn't pull the sleeve down.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Gibbs yelled. He got great satisfaction seeing Ziva and McGee jump.

"Gibbs!" "Boss!" they said in surprise. Ziva still had a grip on Tony's wrist. Gibbs could see the pain etched on his features.

"Let. Him. Go." He growled. Ziva dropped Tony's arm, and he cradled the throbbing limb to his chest. Gibbs pointed at McGee and Ziva. "Directors office." When neither of them moved, Gibbs used his best Gunnery Sergeants voice. "NOW!" the both scurried off. Gibbs turned to Tony, who was still cradling his arm, looking pained. "You okay?" Tony swallowed and nodded.

"Yeah, I-I think so." He whispered. Gibbs held out his hand.

"Can I see? Make sure it's okay?" he asked. Tony nodded and held out his wrist. Gibbs gently rolled up Tony's shirt sleeve. One of the more recent wounds had re-opened and was bleeding slowly. Gibbs grabbed a tissue from the Tony's desk and pressed it gently but firmly on the bleeding scar. Tony whimpered in pain.

"I know its sore Tony, but it will stop the bleeding." Gibbs told him softly. Gibbs knew how sore re-opening old scars were. When the bleeding had stopped, Gibbs threw the tissue in the trash. "You okay now?" he asked. Tony nodded.

"Thanks." He whispered to the older man. Gibbs nodded and gave him a smile.

"Okay, I'm gonna go deal with _them_." Gibbs spat out, like a bad taste. Tony gave him a small smile. Gibbs turned to go when Tony stopped him.

"Gibbs." Tony said.

"Yeah?" Gibbs asked, facing him. Tony took a deep breath and whispered,

"I quit."

**A/N: Don't you just love cliff-hangers :) Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter and I'll see ya soon!**

**Byee :)**

**Chloe xxx**


	9. Authors Note!

**A/N: Sorry I am taking ages to upload, but I am in the middle of a chapter update for my other story. When I finish and post that chapter, I will start on the next chapter for What's The Point?. Thank you for your patience and on-going support.**

**Chloe xxx **


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the long wait, but thank you for your patience and continued support. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and it is worth the wait.**

**P.S: I know that Tony is taller than Gibbs by 2inches, but in my little Fanfiction world, Gibbs is taller.**

**What's The Point?**

**Chapter 9**

"_I quit." He whispered._

Gibbs heart momentarily stopped beating.

"What? Why?" he asked softly, walking round to kneel in front of Tony. Tony looked at the floor.

"Never mind, forget I said anything." Gibbs placed a comforting hand of Tony's knee.

"You know I can't do that, Tony. What makes you feel that you have to quit?" Gibbs asks quietly. Tony's eyes filled with tears, but refused to let them spill over.

"It's stupid." He whispered so quietly, that Gibbs had to strain to hear it.

"It's not stupid Tony. I can't help you if I don't know what is wrong." Tony glanced up at Gibbs for a moment.

"Promise you won't get mad?" Tony sounded so much like a scared child; Gibbs wanted to hug tight, squeezing all the fears and insecurities out of him.

"I promise."

"I don't feel as if I can trust them." Tony told him softly, 'them', being Tim and Ziva. Gibbs couldn't blame him after that…'attack'. He nodded.

"I understand that Tony, I do." He told the distressed man. "But don't quit. How about we make a compromise?"

"Gibbs, you don't make compromises." Tony stated softly, cracking a small smile. Gibbs smiled and shrugged a shoulder.

"True, but I do make exceptions for family." Gibbs told him. Tony's head shot up.

"F…family?" he stuttered. Gibbs nodded. Tony couldn't keep the tears at bay anymore. He ducked his head as the tears ran silently down his face.

"W…what's the compromise?" he asked, swiping the tears away angrily, but the flow wasn't stopping. _'God, I'm such a baby.'_ He thought. Gibbs gently took Tony's hand away from his face, keeping them in his calloused ones.

"Stop it." Gibbs told him softly. "You're gonna hurt yourself."

"Sorry." Tony apologised softly. "Compromise?" he asked again.

"Just take some time off." Gibbs voiced. "Take some time to re-group, maybe spend a little time with Ziva and McGee to get to trust them again." Gibbs suggested. Tony nodded slowly.

"Yeah…yeah, I like that." He softly agreed. Gibbs smiled slightly.

"Okay. Will you stay here while I'm upstairs, then I'll take you home when I'm done?" he asked. Tony nodded.

"Sure." Gibbs patted Tony's knee and swiped away the last stray tears gently with his thumb. Tony leaned into the touch. Gibbs let his hand linger on Tony's cheek for a moment before patting the young man's cheek and stood up.

"I shouldn't be long, okay?" Gibbs told him, waiting for Tony's acknowledgement before making his way up to Vance's office.

**NCISNCISNCIS**

Gibbs stormed past Cynthia, but stopped when he saw his agents sitting in the little 'waiting area'.

"I thought I told you to go in _there_." Gibbs growled, pointing towards the director's office.

"Cynthia told us Director Vance is busy." Ziva told him hotly, crossing her arms across her chest. She wasn't sorry for what she had done. Her eyes, she had done nothing wrong.

"I don't give a flying shit!" Gibbs grabbed the two agents by the collars on their shirts and dragged them in the office, ignoring Cynthia's protests. Vance was sitting behind his desk, interviewing a wanna-be agent, when his door was forced open. He stood up to face the angry agent.

"Agent Gibbs." he greeted coldly. "If Cynthia didn't tell you, which I am sure she did, I am a bit busy just now."

"I do not particularly care, _Director_." Gibbs growled. "We have a little problem here." Gibbs glared at the man sitting in front of Vance's desk.

"I'll arrange with your secretary a better time." With that, the man fled the office. Vance sighed.

"What now?" Vance asked. Gibbs shoved the two agents forward roughly.

"Agent DiNozzo has been having a hard time in his personal life right now – I am not going to say anymore – and what happened was that these to _idiots _thought it would be fun to harass Tony even when he told them no!" he turned to the agents is question. "What the _**HELL**_ where you thinking?!" Gibbs yelled at them. Vance wisely stayed silent.

"We were merely…concerned." Ziva told him. That just made Gibbs angrier.

"_Concerned_? You made him back into a corner and then grabbed him! He doesn't trust you two, and to be honest, I don't blame him!" he pointed at McGee. "You should have known better McGee! What were you thinking?!" McGee started stuttering.

"Emm, well, we, err, we…" he trailed off.

"That's what I thought. You weren't!" Gibbs turned to Vance again. "Tony and I are on vacation – effective immediately." Vance nodded.

"Paid vacation for as long as you need." Vance told him, feeling that the two men needed a long break. Gibbs nodded his thanks.

"I don't care what you do with them." Gibbs stated, before striding out the office.

_Meanwhile in the bullpen_

Tony sighed and tipped his head back slightly when he saw Gibbs entering Vance's office. He immediately regretted the action when he was greeted with a head rush. He groaned and gently placed a hand protectively on his churning stomach. As much as he liked self-inflicted pain, he hated any other source of pain. He didn't get any satisfaction from it. Weird, right? So after that little…episode with Ziva, the pain from his throbbing wrist had gotten to him, leaving him feeling sick. He really hoped Gibbs decided to drive slower today. He didn't have the strongest stomach for Gibbs' driving on good days, let alone when he felt horrible. He lifted his head back to normal, groaning again. He saw Gibbs coming out of Vance's office, so he moved his hand away from his stomach and started to slowly collect his stuff.

"You ready to go, Tony?" Gibbs asked, grabbing his own stuff.

"Yeah." Tony replied quietly. Gibbs looked up the quiet response, taking in the younger man's appearance.

"You feeling okay?" Tony gave him a small smile.

"Yeah, I'm good." Tony lied. Gibbs lifted an eyebrow.

"You sure? You don't look so good." He expressed his concern. Tony wanted to tell him how miserable he felt, but he wouldn't let himself.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Thanks though." He smiled again. Gibbs looked sceptical, but decided to drive really, _really _slow – basically 20mph.

**NCISNCISNCIS**

Gibbs was glad he decided to drive slowly, because about half way through the journey, Tony groaned. Gibbs looked at him, seeing a tinge of green appear in Tony's cheeks. He looked for a space to pull over.

"Gibbs," Tony mumbled, a hand going to his stomach. Gibbs pulled over quickly – just in time, as it seemed. Tony clamped a hand over his mouth and shot out of the car before Gibbs had even stopped it. Gibbs quickly went round to were Tony was bent at the waist, throwing up what little food he had eaten so far that day. Gibbs rubbed circles gently on Tony's back, as heaves racked his frame. When Tony had finished, he sighed before groaning again, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. A bottle of water appeared in front of him.

"Take small sips." Gibbs gently ordered. Tony washed his mouth out a few times before drinking. He stood to his full height, handing the bottle back to Gibbs.

"Sorry." He whispered sheepishly. Gibbs hand never left his back as he placed is other on Tony's forehead. _No fever_.

"Why didn't you tell me you felt ill?" Gibbs gently scolded, leading Tony back to the car.

"I didn't want to bother you." Tony told him sadly as he sat in his seat.

"You can _never _bother me." Gibbs told him, starting the car. "What bothers me is that you didn't tell me. When did you start feeling sick?"

"Just after what happened with Ziva." Tony replied softly, leaning his head against the window.

"You okay now?" Gibbs asked, noticing how Tony had closed his eyes.

"Head hurts." Tony mumbled, not bothering to hide the unbearable pain. Gibbs knew how miserable Tony must be feeling to admit his discomfort.

The two men arrived at Gibbs' house a few minutes later. Tony groaned quietly as the car jolted slightly at its stop. Gibbs helped Tony inside. Tony buried his head in Gibbs' shoulder to keep his eyes shielded from the early afternoon sun. The house was still dark because the two men had left the curtains drawn in the morning, so Tony turned his head, but leaving it resting on Gibbs' shoulder, and he looked around the dark room. He couldn't help it when he kept his gaze on the knife left on the small coffee from this morning, which Gibbs had used to butter his toast.

**A/N: Ta da :) So, there is chapter nine! I hoped you liked it and it was worth the longer wait. :) Also, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Chanukah and whatever religious holiday you may celebrate :) So, I guess, for now, cheerio!**

**Chloe xxx**


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: My very last chapter update in 2013! It's been a good year. I made loads of new friends! You guys!:) This chapter was surprisingly difficult to write. And this story is turning into a Tibbs!slash. So if you don't like it, then cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it :) Anyways, here is chapter 10. I hope you like it. X**

**What's The Point?**

**Chapter 10**

Tony whimpered quietly, not taking his gaze away from the knife, even though he wanted to. Gibbs followed Tony's gaze after hearing the whimper. He mentally head-slapped himself when he saw the knife. '_Damn it! Stupid idiot!_' he thought to himself. He set Ton gently on the couch, before quickly putting the knife in the kitchen sink. When he got back into the living room, he saw Tony with his knee pulled up to his chest, and tears slowly making a path down his cheeks. Gibbs rushed over to him, pulling the younger man into his arms gently.

"Tony, what's wrong?" he asked softly.

"Hurts." Tony whimpered, turning his head and burying his face into Gibbs' shoulder, not caring if he looked like a needy child. Gibbs started gently rubbing circles on his back.

"What hurts?"

"Head…eyes…everything." Tony whispered. '_Migraine._' Gibbs thought.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." Gibbs pulled Tony slowly to his feet. They made their way upstairs slowly, Ton gripping onto Gibbs tighter whenever a new wave of pain hit. When they got to the bedroom, Gibbs helped Tony into a pair of worn-out sweats and a t-shirt. Gibbs had thankfully dealt with Tony when he had a migraine before, so he knew what to do. He helped Tony into bed, crawling under the quilt with him. Tony was quick to curl into a little ball -beside Gibbs, taking fistfuls of the Marines t-shirt and burying his face into Gibbs' chest, trying to find more darkness. Gibbs automatically wrapped his arms protectively around Tony, rubbing soft circles on his back. The two stayed like this, long after Tony after fell asleep.

**NCISNCISNCIS**

_Meanwhile in the Director's office_

Vance stared the agents in front of him, both looking more nervous. DiNozzo might not be his favourite agent, but that didn't mean he was going to allow Tony to be abused in the workplace by his team-mates.

"Would you care to explain, Agent David, why you decided to act as you did?"

"We were merely concerned." She told him again.

"Why? As far as I know, Agent DiNozzo is fine." Vance looked at McGee to explain.

"Well, sir, Tony hasn't been acting himself these past few days, so we wanted to make sure he was okay. We had a suicide case and Ziva said something about it and Tony got upset. He went to the bathroom to cool off. Ziva and I looked at the security footage and saw something that concerned us." McGee told him.

"And what did you see?" Vance asked. The two agents stayed silent. "Well? I'm waiting." He said impatiently. Ziva answered.

"It looked like he was cutting his wrists."

"And you _grabbed _his wrists?!" Vance yelled, shocked.

"We were _concerned_!" Ziva told him again. Vance walked round to Ziva, invading her personal space.

"If Agent DiNozzo does hurt himself, yes, that is reason for concern, but that is _**not**_ how you handle it! If he wanted to tell you, he would have. It looks like Gibbs knows, so he does have help, but that is not how you approach it! For all you know, you could have made it worse!" The agents stayed silent, until Ziva spoke.

"What are you going to do with us?" she asked. Vance moved back to his desk.

"I will be putting official reprimands on your files. You both have to attend FLETC again, and mandatory sensitivity training classes." Vance told them. "I will leave it up to Gibbs to decide if you are still on his team or not. But keep in mind that if you are kicked off the MCRT, you probably won't be able to get a job as the janitor." With that, Vance dismissed them by telling them FLETC starts tomorrow and to go home.

**NCISNCISNCIS**

_Gibbs house_

The next morning, Tony awoke with a small groan. He shifted slightly, his head hitting something solid. He opened his eyes, seeing Gibbs' hip. He looked up, seeing Gibbs leaning against the headrest, doing a crossword, smiling gently down at him.

"You okay?" he asked. Tony nodded.

"Yeah. Need to pee." He shifted again, the pressure starting to become uncomfortable, but not making any effort to get up and take care of his needs. Gibbs chuckled quietly, climbing off of the bed. Tony automatically snuggled further into the covers.

"I thought you had to pee?"

"I do." Came Tony's muffled reply. "But I'm comfortable." He shifted again.

"Uh huh. Come on, before you pee yourself." Gibbs ordered, pulling the duvet away. Tony groaned at the sudden loss of warmth, but got up anyways. As he stood, the room tilted slightly, making him grip onto Gibbs' arm. The older man was quick to slide an arm around Tony's waist to keep him standing.

"Woah, easy Tony." He said. "You okay now?" he asked after a few seconds had passed. Tony nodded.

"Guess I stood up to fast." Tony told him as they made their way to the en suite bathroom. While Tony took care of his business, Gibbs set about getting clothes for Tony and setting them on the bed, before changing his clothes. He heard the shower turn on, and went downstairs to make coffee and call Vance.

**NCISNCISNCIS**

Tony stood in the shower, hoping that the hot water would ease his acing muscles, while he thought about yesterday at the office. '_How did McGee and Ziva find out? How many other people know? Did Gibbs tell them? No, Gibbs wouldn't do that. Why did they act like that?_' he felt a little embarrassed about the whole migraine thing, but since he started living with Gibbs, he felt more comfortable around him, he could be himself and not be judged about it. He hasn't felt like this since he was with Wendy. Did that mean…no, it couldn't. Could it? He wasn't gay. But when he was with the older man, he felt safe, content. He shook himself out of the internal debate, realizing he must have been in the shower of at least ten minutes. He quickly washed, dried and dressed himself, before making his way to the kitchen where he could smell coffee.

**NCISNCISNCIS**

While Tony was in the shower, Gibbs was having a similar conversation with himself after he had called Vance. He felt happier when he was with Tony, and Tony seemed more relaxed with him. Gibbs had always been bisexual , but not many people knew that. But Tony was as straight as you could get them, if his bragging was true. He heard footsteps making their way down the stairs, and he head slapped himself. Tony liked young women. Not men 20years older. Tony walked into the kitchen, giving Gibbs a small smile when he looked at him. He sat at the table as Gibbs passed him a cup of coffee.

"Thanks." Tony said, taking a sip of the hot liquid.

"Can I look at your wrist, to make sure it's still okay?" Gibbs asked. Tony nodded slowly, and slowly held his arm out across the table. Gibbs gently pulled back Tony's sleeve, not touching the scars, just looking. "Does it still hurt?" he asked softly. Tony shrugged and looked away.

"A little." He mumbled, feeling his cheeks turn red, and he didn't even know why. This didn't go unnoticed by Gibbs.

"Do you want ice for it?" Gibbs asked. Tony shook his head.

"Makes it worse." He told Gibbs, who nodded and let go of his arm. Tony was quick to pull the sleeve back down.

"I talked to Vance." Gibbs told him. Tony looked up, his eyes saying for Gibbs to continue. "McGee and Ziva are returning to FLETC and are attending sensitivity training. And he said that it's up us if they're still on the team." Tony looked confused.

"Us?" he asked. Gibbs nodded.

"Yeah, us. You're still part of the team and Senior Field Agent, so it is your decision as much as it is mine." Gibbs told him softly.

"Oh." Tony started fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt. He wasn't really in the mood to act more confident than he really was. He was still thinking about his 'do I _like like _Gibbs' debate. He was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt a strong hand land on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Gibbs looking curiously at him.

"You okay?" he asked. Tony nodded and stared at his coffee again.

"Hey," Gibbs tapped the side of his head. "What's going on in there?" he asked. Tony shrugged, his mind racing with loads of different questions. Gibbs was starting to get worried. He took Tony's hand and pulled him towards the living room and pushed him gently onto the couch. Tony pulled his knees to his chest and rested his chin in between.

"Talk to me Tony." Gibbs said softly. Tony bit his lip. Just when Gibbs thought he wasn't going to talk, he did.

"How did McGee find out?" he asked quietly. Gibbs would be lying if he said he wasn't expecting that question at some point.

"Vance said the opened the security footage." Gibbs told him.

"Oh." Tony went silent again for a few moments. "How come it's always my life that has to suck?" he asked Gibbs. Gibbs shuffled closer to him and wrapped an arm around Tony's shoulders. Gibbs saw him visibly relax when the arm snaked around his shoulders.

"It's gonna get better Tony." He told him. Tony snorted.

"Sure. After forty-five years it's gonna get better. I think since you found out, it got better for all of two seconds, then shit the fan and now I can't trust my own team mates." He said quietly.

"Tony…" Gibbs started, but Tony cut him off.

"Do ya wanna know something? I now know that I can only fully trust one person." He slumped against Gibbs.

"Yeah? Who's that?"

"You." Tony whispered. Gibbs squeezed his shoulder.

"What about Abby, or Ducky?"

"Sorta, but I don't love Abby or Ducky." Tony stiffed when he realized what he had just said. The world seemed to stop around them.

**A/N: Ta-da! As I said, it is turning into Tibbs. I did not mean for this to happen, but it did, but who doesn't like a little bit of Tibbs? :P Anyways, I'm sorry that it was a long wait, but this chapter, I think, was worth the wait, right? Or am I just being stupid? Anyway, I hoped you guys liked it, I hope you had an awesome Christmas/whatever holiday you celebrated/celebrating/are about to celebrate and I hope you have an amazing New Year! I will see you in 2014!**

**Chloe xxx**


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